So scared, I want to throw up….

I just found out today that the long awaited trip to Europe is a go for my teen. Eighteen days away in a country were she understands very little of the language. [sigh] Flashes of the news about #MH17 go through my mind. I’m trying to keep from throwing up. This is something I have to deal with without her knowledge. I’m terrified right now but I don’t want to let her know. She is so happy to go and she is going with her grandmother. It will be a really special trip for both of them. I know this. Logically, it all makes sense. Sounds wonderful.

It’s just that I’m finding it hard to be excited right now. The “what if’s” are driving me insane. The crazy traffic. The crazy boys. Swimming in the sea. The flight at 30,000 ft and over a big ocean. [breathe] And this is coming from someone who loves to travel! Jeeze! I won’t see her for a few days so I have time to collect myself. I will have to work hard on that.

[focus on the positives]

The cultural immersion. Her grandmother taking such pleasure in showing her off to family and friends. The time they will spend together exchanging ideas and stories. The independence she will gain traveling back on her own. She will have grown so much in that time. It’s happened every time she has gone away. Even when it was just for three days. It is hard for parents to let them go when these moments in time come along and this certainly isn’t the first one. We had a similar experience when she was almost four and wanted to go down the bunny hill on her own. She fought me when I said “No.” knowing full well she couldn’t stop. She freaked out to be let loose. I, frustrated and angry, said “Fine, go ahead.” Well, she didn’t slow down. She hit a bench to stop at the bottom and tears ensued. I felt like I was a terrible mother, that I had made a mistake. But the following week we went out again and she had learned something. She had learned to stop.

This time is similar.

[I will keep telling myself that]

I look forward to seeing her a little more grown up when she gets back. [breathe….]

Do you have any coping mechanisms to help with letting your kids go? Please leave a comment I can use all the help I can get right now. Lol.

 

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2 thoughts on “So scared, I want to throw up….

  1. Oh man, I wish I had advice for you! But all this did was make me WEEP thinking about the day I’ll have to say “goodbye” to Bee! *SOB*!!! If anyone sends you wise words, I’d love to know what they are!

    • I feel better about it today but initially I was a mess. Thanks for sharing the moment with me. I know its going to be tough putting her on that plane. At least I have a couple of weeks to prepare myself. 🙂

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